This Is Not Me (Bu ben degilim)

The documentary tells the story of gay men who have had to marry women to hide their sexual orientation in the face of societal and family pressure in Turkey and their own internal conflicts.
The three main characters of the film, Mustafa, Mehmet and Yusuf migrated to Istanbul from small towns and come from conservative families. The film reveals the world of each of them: exhausted from continually playing social roles and lying about their identity, faltering between their reality and their dreams, frustrated and stuck in their lives. It also looks at the subject from the aspect of women who are other victims of these marriages. Mehmet and Yusuf, both married to women, act the part of heterosexual males and family men within their own social circles. Privately, however, they are passionately in love with their male lovers and can only live their truth within the parallel lives they have built with them.

directed & written:

Jeyan Kader Gülsen, Zekiye Kaçak


Mustafa, Yusuf, Mehmet


Cansun Küçüktürk, Vedat Yildirim


Christian Feiland


Turkey 2022

running time:

92 minutes



English/Polish subtitles

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